i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
