..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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