New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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