this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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