i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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