Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

OMG. Drunk.

(662): View more from Mississippi

I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.

(718): View more from New York

Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start

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(949): View more from California

I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.

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(406): View more from Montana

As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"

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(+61): View more from Australia

He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.

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(409): View more from Texas

No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.

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(616): View more from Michigan

please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it

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