You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
