Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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