im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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