i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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