if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
