So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
