Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
