Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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