just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
