Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he was CRYING into my vagina
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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