wanna go halves on a baby?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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