I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize