Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize