i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
