I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
