I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
