saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
