Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
