I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
