Im at strip club and am horny
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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