I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
