Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
