the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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