I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
