that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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