I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
