I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
