I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize