i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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