Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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