no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
