I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i think my mom watched the whole time
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
she told me i tasted like america
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
