This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
