Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
