My room smells like vodka and shame
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
