hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
