oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
