New low: just hacked my moms facebook
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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