Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
