She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize