Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
