Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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