i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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