Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
