i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
