just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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