The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
