the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize