I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
