It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize