I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
