how can u be prego again
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
